Free Kittens

Before you say anything, no, I'm not giving away baby cats...

**********FLASHBACK**********

So there I was sitting in the Community Theatre watching some construction workers screwing accoustic tiles back onto the frame overhead. Of course, that's not the reason I was there...I was actually waiting to speak to someone who never arrived. But there I was observing the truest form of incompetence achievable by human standards, when one of the inbeciles decided to rock the two-story scaffolding beneath him and proceeded to smash his leg upon the stage. Horray for gravity...

As we were then waiting for the arrival of an ambulance to remove this moronic professional from my sight, I heard a faint meowing coming from beneath the stage...oh boy, I got to belly-crawl under the full length of the theatre to find a litter of kittens. The little putty-tats were very friendly and happily followed me to the exit...

When the ambulance finally arrived (after almost 35 minutes), the driver asked if he could come by after he got off to take the kittens home. Talk about cats with dumb luck!!!!!

Don't worry, for the first time in the history of this city, the person who hurt himself didn't sue anyone...

Ciao People!!!!!

Ultimate Protest

You hate your job, you hate your ex, you can't stand to be around your old crew, people annoy you with nasty habits, your friends bitch about your taste, your parents bug you about getting married, your boss is riding you like a racehorse, your customers are pissy, the mailman keeps tearing up your magazines, the landlord pounds on your door twice a week, some asshole soaked you when they drove by, blockbuster says your a year overdue on a DVD, the library wants the book that your dog ate, your cat has a strange rash, your car won't start in the mornings, you caught crabs from a toilet seat in a resteraunt, there's a zit on the end of your nose, your brother got robbed, your sister wants to stay with you, your uncle wants money, your bathroom window got broken, and your being audited by the IRS...

It makes you want to scream, fight, run, kill, cry, and give up all at once. But there's another option...something that can change the world and fix all of your problems, and ANYBODY can do it!!! NO, I'm not selling anything...what I'm talking about is FREE!!!

When you are sick and tired of the world, the people, and all the crap that the universe dishes out...all you have to do is use your power!!! That's right, you have the power to turn it all around...but how???

I'm glad you asked, because here it is...

Think about EVERYTHING that has happened to you...and once you have it all in your mind, just smile and laugh at it like it's someone elses problem. That's all you have to do...because once you've distanced yourself to the point where you no longer feel like a victim, you can look at the issues objectively and resolve them like they're not even yours...

Tah-dah!!!!

Does breaking a law make a criminal?

The other day I had the privilege of witnessing an interrogation, and as I sat there it occurred to me that the truth the interrogators were seeking may not have been the truth at all. Now I’m not admitting anything about myself as I make these statements, I’m just putting words for your interpretation.

Who is to determine what “crime” is? In ancient times a crime was a violation of the laws or rules laid out by the governing party…and so it would seem that is the case today. However, one must consider the source of these laws and rules… The Hammurabi Code (Amorite Dynasty of Old Babylon) was dictated by a king, and, if carefully examined, is the basis for most legal systems. Even the Catholic Cannons have roots in the Hammurabi Code, but then with 282 laws it’s hard to not find roots there. And why, may I ask, is a king from over 3800 years ago still telling us what to do?

Here’s what is really going on; Like cinema of today, governing bodies are simply dead creatively. It is the responsibility of leadership to create RELEVANT and NECESSARY laws that help to serve the people…not to repeat antiquated and meaningless dribble from thousands of years ago!!! Who’s to say that this Hammurabi guy was even sound enough of mind to say what is right or wrong?

Aren’t morality and ethics subject to personal opinion? I mean, if you have a way to succeed in life, should some crap like not being allowed to lie stop you? Obviously these laws and rules don’t do anything (just look at the number of people who get convicted and released), so why not just allow people to make their own rules?

Here’s an example of how stupid the government of the US is (that’s right, I said STUPID). These dip wads say that too many Americans are dangerously obese…and then they come up with new ways to help promote weight loss, right? NO!!!!!! Instead, they give the FDA MORE POWER to ban whatever they want!!! And as soon as the FDA gets that power, what do they do? THEY BAN WEIGHT LOSS PILLS!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell????

Anyway, I think you get the point…before you condemn someone for being a "criminal" ask yourself if they have ACTUALLY done anything wrong, or did they just break a rule made up for the government's piece of mind? Don’t just take laws and rules at face value, see if they actually have a purpose. And if they don’t, join me in starting a NEW civilization that MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!

Ciao everybody!!!

Where and What are Ghosts?

This is a continuation of a comment I made on my friends blog...

As stated, there is enough proof from experimentation to support that ghosts are real. Here are the things that have been stated as fact:

* The human soul weighs 21 grams
* Etheric energy (energy that flows in a magnetic field) ceases to flow, and is dispersed upon death
* There is a mass of energy wrapped around the base of the spine (Kundalini)
* People have remembered past lives when hypnotized
* It is possible to drain someone of their energy through physical contact
* Energy cannot be destroyed

Now, assuming that all of these statements are true, what conclusions can we draw about ghosts?

REALLY Simple Wine

Ok, this one's for Vinny...and anybody else who wants to know a simple way to make wine...

Ingredients:

- 1 can of concentrated 100% fruit juice
(Whatever flavor you want your wine to be)
- 4-8 cups of sugar (depending on desired sweetness)
- 2/3 packet of yeast
- Gallon Milk Jug (empty and rinsed)
- Water (from tap is fine, the alcohol will kill bacteria)


Recipe:

1. Put Juice, sugar, and yeast into the jug.
2. Add water until it reaches the part of the jug where everything
starts slanting inward.
3. Put an airlock or balloon on top of the jug.
4. Put in a warm place (not in direct sunlight).
5. When bubbles stop (in airlock) or balloon completely deflates the
wine is ready to bottle. (Ciphon, don't pour)

Enjoy...But be warned, This stuff is ALOT stronger than store-bought wine.

Star Trek Personality Test

After careful study and LOTS of revising, I have come up with a personality test that you can use to learn about your friends.

All you have to do is choose your favorite series of Star Trek...simple right? You have 5 choices: The original Star Trek, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise. Got one? Good...let's move on...

Here's what you've learned based on each...

If you picked The Original Star Trek, then you are an open, adventurous, person who would willingly be the first to rush into almost any situation. You have heroic tendencies and possibly prefer cliff diving to rollercoasters. You like to think of yourself as easy-going and fun.

If you picked The Next Generation, then you are more than likely a somewhat structured person with a cautious streak. You like to do and try new things, but you want to make sure it's safe first (probably through research). You choose friends with similar likes and dislikes who you feel are not too far out of your comfort zone. And of course, you more than likely have an above average reading level.

If you happened to select Deep Space Nine, then you are in the smallest group because, although you thrive on adventure, you will rarely seek out new things to do or try. You don't really enjoy what you do (work, school, etc) but you are afraid to attempt a change. You frequently go window shopping, but almost always turn away from buying what you want.

Or did you pick Voyager? You did? Well that means there's something wrong with your happiness. You are either insecure with your place in the universe or are just not happy with your current situation. You are a dreamer, one who seeks to change their life. You are skeptical of people who offer to help you because in your mind they only want to hurt you. You often feel consumed.

But maybe you chose Enterprise...this would signify that you are adventurous, and easily angered. You are capable of horrific acts when you are wronged and the people who know you tread lightly in your presence. But when you are happy, you are also capable of wonderously positive acts. You could just as easily run into a burning building to save a stranger as set your bosses house on fire and watch him burn through a window. You are both fun AND intimidating.

Let me know what you think...