What I Got for XXX-Mas

Here's what my presents this year included:

New Computer w/ 21" Monitor
New VCR
22 Pez Dispensers
Legos
Mega Blocks Dragon
Clothes
Cell Phone Stuff
Candy

And a spare life!!!

Ooooh...a survey... LOL

That's right you-know-who has put me up to another set of questions...

What were you doing ten years ago?

I was trying to graduate from high school while still maintaining my "bad boy" status. :) It worked...

What were you doing one year ago?

Trying to get rich people to listen to me!!! But then isn't that always the case???

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics

Warsaw 1943 by Johnny Clegg
King of Wishful Thinking by Go West
Every song ever written by Jim Steinman :)
Duel Duet from Shock Treatment
You Are My Sunshine (The whole song)

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire

Eat
Drink
Be Mary, Joe, Bernie, lou, or pretty much anyone for a day.
Play more video games
And sleep more

Five bad habits

Bad habits? Me? I never do anything bad that I would admit to. :)

Five things you like doing

Eating
Drinking
Playing
Sleeping
Everything Else

Five things you would never wear, buy, or get new again

American Cars...Can we say Mechanic's Retirement Plan???
An NRA Membership...Talk about annoying!!!
Panty Hose...OUCH!!!!!!!! Don't ask...
Sea Monkeys...B-O-R-I-N-G!!!!!!
An Authentic Medieval Plastic Cup...I think there's something amok with those.

Five favorite toys

Legos
Legos
Legos
Legos
Legos :)

Weird Habits...Pfft...

This is something someone (you know who you are) tagged me to do...

My weird habits:

That's easy...I don't have any!!! Sure, I may have habits, but they are mine and so they can't be weird. When you think about it, how can something you do everyday be weird? Simple...my habits may seem starnge to others, but to me they are perfectly normal. :)

And that is that while this is this...

Dude, you got smited!!!

Today I witnessed something rather boggling.

First let me say, your ol’ buddy Rick is very non-religious, I believe that there’s a higher power but that humanity has no right to categorize or quantify it.

Now on to what I saw…

A person whom I’ve known for years wanted to try something unusual. He mixed store-bought Holy Water with Vodka and drank it. I must say that, in most cases, vodka and water doesn’t seem like too bad of a combo…but today it was!!!

Only minutes after drinking the stuff, he broke out in a sweat. Then shortly after that he began vomiting and his chest tightened up. Things got worse from there, but I won’t share those details so that you can keep your dinner down. :)

Anyway, the big question is whether it was a god, a disease, or something else…he’s at the hospital so I’ll let you know what they say later…

Ciao everyone!!!

Shhhhhhhhh...

Well, it looks like I’ve been tagged this time…

Hi my name is Reckless Rick and I’m a…………Ooops…wrong confession.

I Confess – I steal creative camera shots that I’m known for from TV and movies. Yes, anyone can do it…but clients don’t know that.

I Confess – I’ve never REALLY cared for anyone I’ve dated (liking doesn’t count)…and I’ve never dated anyone that I REALLY cared for. Does that make me a bad person? Bah, whatever…I care for someone now, so maybe I can change that one.

I Confess – The reason I left the army was because the MRE’s were no good anymore. I grew up on the kind of MRE’s that had all kinds of stuff in them and you never knew what you’d get with your entrée. There were freeze-dried fruits, candy, cakes, cookies, veggies, and once I even had freeze-dried ice-cream in one!!! Now you’re lucky to get a dessert if you have a side dish. But it REALLY tweaked my follicles when they started serving boxed luches instead of MRE’s!!!!!! BLEGH!!!!!!

I Confess – I’m still keeping a secret from 7th grade!!!

I Confess – I would rather sit at home and play with Legos than go to Disneyland. I mean, honestly, who needs lines, screaming kids, and crying moms to have fun? Although, if you take the other people away it is a lot of fun!!!


Alright Bernie, it’s your turn!!!

A Cyclone of Excitement

There it was…THURSDAY!!!! The day for which the cumulative organizations of the city had been preparing for months (but I only heard about a week ago). It was called “An Old Towne Christmas”…interestingly enough my organization is the only one with “Old Towne” in the name. I like to think that it’s because we were the most important part…

So I opened the place up (yes, we keep it locked), turned up the heat (16 degrees in a theatre isn’t good), turned on the water (because people like to potty), put out the tables (folks can’t hand out on a sidewalk without a place to sit…that’s just beastly), and turned on the lights (let’s face it, nobody wants to stumble around in a dark 80-year-old theatre).

At 5:59pm (one minute to show time) the first act comes walking in the front door. I immediately strip them (of their coats) and ran out on stage for their introduction…one minute late isn’t too bad for a gospel group, right? They managed to stay on time and the next group went on 2 minutes early. Let’s just say I was thrilled at this point. But then DISASTER STRIKES…the second group only used a third of their time!!! But then I am reminded that the dancers from the parking lot were forced inside by the cold and had no place to perform…YES!!!! So I give them a chance to fill the gap with a dance.

The dance starts out beautifully…they plug in the boom-box and dance away. But about 1/3 of the way through the song it freezes!!! So they start over and it freezes again!!! OH NO!!!!!!!! But wait…what’s that sound? The ENTIRE audience has begun singing where the stereo left off!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!! The dancers finished their routine using the audience…

The next two acts went on as scheduled with no incidents…then it was all over…

After packing up and winterizing the theatre, I locked up the theatre and headed to my car. As I got closer, I noticed a man walking towards me in the dark…but being the idiot I am, I kept going. He gets to me and of all the things he could say, he goes, “Hey man, can I get some pot?” The conversation that followed must have made me sound like a total wanker because the guy walked away rolling his eyes at me. I’m pretty sure he was a cop (We have a SERIOUS drug problem around here and they’ve been cracking down hard).

Anyway, it all turned out well…

Dum spiro, spero